Cookies With SCRE4M
by Listie The Scribe Maid
Summary: Starts like a crossover between "Cookies With Cream" and "Scream 4" but ends up very acidy... I dunno. This is my Halloween special oneshot.


**A/N: Here's my Halloween one-shot! Just to warn you, thugh, it starts out a mash-up between the two stories I had originally intended and then HE comes in. Who? Read and see. "Cookies With Cream" belongs to Prower Power and _Scream 4_ belongs to Wes Craven.**

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><p><strong>Cookies With SCRE4M<strong>

**Originally by Prower Power to the People and West Cravin**

**Adapted for by a very drunk That Gamer**

"You don't understand Amy! I don't know anything about cooking!" Tails yelled into his cell, pacing back and forth in his kitchen, which is kinda weird. If Tails, can't cook, why does he have a kitchen?...ah, screw it.

"I WOULD do it, but, sadly, I wouldn't do anything for that power hog! Besides, Sonic's got himself in some more trouble."

"What's wrong?" Tails asks, sounding concerned. He had been waiting for their date, uh, I mean, er, thing I can't describe that well because I hate yaoi all month.

"Oh, he got himself stuck in a rainstorm," Amy replied, sounding annoyed.

Tails looked out the window. "But it's a clear sky."

"Did I mention he's in Hong Kong?"

"Oh," Tails felt a little stupid, but, then again, Sonic was in Hong Kong. "So what happened?"

"He was trying to snag an early copy of Sonic Generations when the heavens opened and down came the rain, apparently causing some weird flashbacks to what he refers to as 'Another Girl Controlling'. Rouge, there on some mission I have no idea about, called and said Sonic was huddled under some random tree humming 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida' to himself."

"And what're you gonna do about it?"

"Mainly try to knock some sense into him."

"Amy, you know your hammer has been classifyed in several states as a dangerous weapon? And in two of those, going up against you is considered suicide."

"Too bad, bye," Amy said quickly, hanging up just as a plane engine revved up in the background.

Tails closed his cellphone as well, rolled his eyes and began his way to Cream's shop.

It was about 8:00 PM when Tails was halfway to Cream's place (it had been 7:30 when he started). Right as the clock hit 8:27, Tails's cellphone rang.

He picked it up.

"Hello there," a raspy voice said through the phone. "Ya like scary movies?"

"Uh, no, sir," Tails replied slowly. "Who is this?"

"It doesn't matter," the voice said. "Here's what does matter: what do you hate?"

"Right now? Cooking," Tails, saying it slowly because of how weird this was, told the voice. "Oh, and being alone. I've never liked that."

"Interesting..." the sound of something being written down could obviously be heard. "So, who is this?"

"You called it," Tails reminded the voice. "Why do you wanna know?"

"So I know who I'm looking at."

Tails whirled around in a complete circle, checking every possible angle he could. "Where are you?"

"Close, kid." Then the line went dead silent.

Tails stood there, shivering. _What in the holy name of Grambi was THAT about?_, Tails though to himself, now jogging to Cream's place. The sooner he was there, the sooner he could forget that call.

**LATER, AT CRE4M'S SHOP**

"Hi Cream," Tails mutters, not really being there, stepping in the shop.

"What're you doing here?" Cream asked, sounding angry. She was currentely cutting something at a table, back turned to Tails. "Why're you here? Where's Amy? Is she off planning to r*** B-"

"No, she's going to Hong Kong to calm Sonic down," Tails explained. "I'm filling in for her."

"Well, that's at least a lot better then her other excuse," Cream comments. "Now, hurry and get ready!"

"Um, I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Don't worry, you'll pick it up as you go along." Cream then suddenly rammed the knife she was using blade first into the table, off to the left so Tails could see it. "Or else."

"OK then!" Tails ran as fast as he could to start doing something.

After about an hour, Tails remebered that call he had gotten earlier.

"Cream? Can I tell you something?" Tails asked, looking nervously at Cream.

"What is it?" Cream replied, balancing nine trays in one hand (18 in the other).

"Thirty minutes before I arrived here," Tails began, "I got a strange, anonymous call."

"Yeah, so? Did he call collect?"

"No, but here's the strange part: He asked me what I hated."

"Obviously Freddy Kruger," Cream told Tails, putting the trays down. "He'd have to know what you hate to properly kill you."

"No," Tails said, looking half annoyed and half concerned. "He sounded way diffrent. And you know what the creepiest part was?"

"What was that?"

"He could see me, but I couldn't see him."

"That makes him Casper," Cream sighed, before turning to face Tails. "Are you gonna tell me these boring stories or are you gonna work? I gotta get these in by tomorrow, ya know!"

Tails nodded and went back to his work, moving slightly faster.

Another hour later, 2 hours before midnight, and seventeen dozen pastries later, Tails was still thinking about that strange call.

"Well damn it," Cream muttered, just loud enough for Tails to hear. "I'm outta frosting."

"You are?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to get some more," Cream said, going to to storage room door.

"Wait, Cream!" Tails shouted.

"What?" Cream spun around in a circle to face Tails.

"Remeber that call I told you about?"

"Yes?"

"Well, I've been thinking..." Tails's left foot began to tap slowly, on the offbeat of Cream's. "What if this was the start of a bad slasher film parody?"

"Bulls***," Cream said bluntly. "Now, I'll be right back."

"I'll be right..." Tails whispered to himself, then put two and two together. "Cream! Don't!"

It was too late, Cream had already stepped into the backroom.

Tails ran up the knob and began furiously twisting it, in an attempt to get it open. But, sadly, the door had locked all by itself.

After trying to open the door for 10 minutes, Tails let go of the knob, now with Tails's hands engraved in them, and took a step back.

"Maybe she isn't dead," Tails said to himself to calm his nerves. "Maybe she isn't."

Tails turned around and began to go back to his work when he heard it. It was very faint, but he heard it: Cream choking to death. And he only heard it for a second. Tails looked slowly back at the door and, sure enough, blood was running from other.

"I thought she was choked," Tails said in a panic, making a break for the door. But it closed by itself, it locked and the front of the store became brick.

"Ah, ah, ah, Tails my boy," the voice from early said mockingly from everywhere and yet nowhere.

"Where are you?" Tails asked, scared out of his wits.

"Everywhere and nowhere you twit," the voice replied. "Can't you read?"

Tails looked up at the ceiling with a confused look.

"Just get back to your baking... or else."

"Or else what?"

Tails then, very suddenly, felt a knife to his chest. He looked at it, only to find it was cutting itself open.

"OK, OK, I'll bake!" Tails exclaimed at the ceiling, in intense pain.

"Wise choice." Tails's chest sealed itself back up as Tails went back to his baking.

Three whole hours had gone by and Tails was still at it. He kept glancing over her shoulder at every little noise he heard.

"It's alright," he muttered, looking over his shoulder for about the millionth effin' time. "It's alright. It's probably nothing. It's probably-" Tails looked back and saw he was cutting a severed arm. "GRAMBI!"

Tails jumped back just as the arm reached up to grab Tails's chest. The arm limped it's way off the table and through the wall, taking the knife with it.

"Weird," Tails whispered in fear.

"I know. And besides, I'm outta ideas, so here's teh killer!" I cried, sending Ghostface after him.

"HOLY!" Tails yelled, jumping back again, Ghostface just barely missing him with his knife... No, wait, how about a chainsaw instead?

"You're cruel, ya know!" Tails told the author sternly.

"And I'm enjoying every minute of it," I replied coolly, getting back to the story.

Tails ran for the stairs after that pointless cameo, Ghostface in hot pursuit. When Tails got to the stairs, he began climbing furiously, Ghostface just standing at the bottom.

At the top, Tails was breathing heavy. "That was a close call," Tails said quietly. "But at least the moron can't use stairs.'

Ghostface came out the elevator.

Tails whipped his head to look at him before his blood went ice cold. Ghostface was not alone.

"So we meet again, Tailsy me boy?" TailsHentai asked, walking into the room calmly.

"YOU!" Tails shouted, looking horrified.

"Are you enjoying you're little scare, well, I know I am," TailsHentai said, looking calmly down at Tails. "Anyways, we need something else to ramp up this story... Hm. How about a pointless hentai sex scene? Oh, yes, that'll get me some points!"

"Oh, please, not hentai again!" Tails was on his knees now, begging for mercy. "I'll do anything you say! Just not hentai again!"

"Too late mon cheri!" TailsHentai shouted at Tails. "Why don't bring that friend-o-yours?"

The closet door slammed open and out was Cream – now a zombie.

"This is getting insane!" Tails yelled, looking at me.

"What?" I asked, putting down my weed.

"Anywho, let's get this thing back up!" TailsHentai told everybody, quickly nailing Tails's wrists and ankles to the floor. "Zombie Cream, if you would be so delighted."

Zombie Cream nodded, acting a tad more human then zombie, and began aporching Tails.

"No, no, no, no, no, no no!" tears of fear were streaming down Tails's face as his doom slowly approached him.

TaislHentai cackled.

Ghostface held his knife at the ready.

Zombie Cream was naked.

And then...

"THE MONKEY TOOK MY DIAMOND!" Tails screamed, waking up. He took a gander at his surroundings. He apparently passed out at Cream's shop. "What the-" Tails got cut short when he got a smack from behind.

"THAT'S for not helping," Cream huffed, angrily leaving the shop.

"It was all a dream?" Tails wondered aloud after a minute or two. "Sure it's lazy writing, but, by Grambi, I'm just glad it's over. What a crappy mash-up."

Freddy Kruger then walked in. "I know, right? I can do way better then that schmuck!"

**A/N: ...only read this if you're high, because, if not, you won't get it. In fact, even when you're high I bet you won't get it. Oh, by the way, no offence to TailsHentai.**


End file.
